Sunday, 17 February 2019 11:23 pm
apollymi: Bakura looking smug, text reads "He belongs to the dark" (YGO**Bakura: He belongs to the dark)
I'm really not ready to go back to work tomorrow. I've spent the most part of the weekend sick as a dog. Even not eating has been making me nauseated today, though admittedly that might have a lot to do with the headache I've been rocking since last night. I tried laying down for a bit during the day, hoping that would take care of it, but alas, the neighbor kids were right outside again, so there was no getting quiet up front of the house, so I went back to the bedroom and turned on the air purifier to drown them out a bit. Two Maxalts later, and I'm feeling vaguely more human. The head still aches some and feels a bit disconnected from the rest of me, but it's better and I'll take that small relief.

Which is probably a good thing, since the neighbor across the hall has had his music going full volume for a good hour or two now. I'm not in the mood to go bang on the door again: I've had to do that too many nights after midnight to want to do it again, and [personal profile] katsuko won't. (I don't know if it just doesn't bother her as much as it does me or if she feels unsafe doing it or if she just doesn't want to. (Or if she doesn't want to put her phone down long enough.)

So, yeah, that's it.

Revive us a tale

Saturday, 16 February 2019 11:36 pm
apollymi: Grumpy kitten, text translates to "the Kitten of Death has you in sight" (Kitten: Kätzchen des Todes)
I'm so far out of it today that I'm not even bothering to come up with a real subject line. I'm too... just not. I'm too not. My head hurts. My body hurts. And everything inside me feels so empty. Except for how my head hurts and I can't get my thoughts to turn in a more positive direction in fact over the two weeks.

I'm just so damn... not.

Dear world

Friday, 15 February 2019 11:48 pm
apollymi: Captain America and Bucky staring at each other, no text (Aveng**Steve/Bucky: Watching)
It's been that kind of day. Week. Month. Year. I'm really starting to wonder if there's any real point of me being here... besides being the universe's cosmic joke. I ended up putting in several applications over my lunch break today, so we'll see if anything comes of any of it. I'm not exactly hopeful of much of anything at this point. It's kinda rough feeling like hell, worrying about one's health, getting a write-up at work, and then still catching shit from one's coworkers all at once. It makes me want to turn to the camera at work, ask if Prometric has ever livestreamed an attempted suicide, and then just fucking go for it. I suspect I would be far from the first, though. Maybe the first that wasn't a tester, but then again, maybe not.

Besides, who the hell would miss a fuckup like me.

So close

Thursday, 14 February 2019 11:16 pm
apollymi: Bakura and Kaiba fanart, black & purple background, text reads "We'll make something out of nothing" (YGO**Bakura/Kaiba: Something out of not)
I can't even begin to describe how incredibly just done in I'm feeling right now. It's not just a matter of feeling tired, though certainly that's part of it. I just feel... "done in" is really the best way to put it. "Drained of all energy" also works. "Unappreciated", "uncreative", "uninteresting", and "unwanted" also spring to mind.

Yeah, I guess you could say it's that kind of a day. Week. Month. Whatever.

I don't even

Wednesday, 13 February 2019 11:07 pm
apollymi: Kyle and Sarah, text reads "Come with me if you want to live" (Term**Kyle/Sarah: Come with me)
I don't even really know what day it is anymore. I feel relatively certain it's Wednesday that's about to be over, but that's only because that's what the clock on my computer says. If it's lying to me, then I'm in a lot of trouble (mainly because my computer will have gained enough sentience and maliciousness to lie to me).

I sucked today for writing. I just had nothing in me at lunch for writing, and then the train ride home was a hot, crowded mess. So, yeah, next to nothing: just what I wrote in bed in the wee hours of the morning. I'll try to do better soon.

Something quick

Tuesday, 12 February 2019 10:25 pm
apollymi: Chococat sitting in an orange chair, no text (Sanrio**Chococat: This is my ROOM!)
Well, once again, it's nearly the end of the night, and I'm not yet in bed. I still don't have an answer about Alpharetta. It was not a good day for pain and even more so for balance and nausea. I've just felt like curling up and dying. Hells bells, I even feel like I coughed out a lung, trying to keep from feel to horribly nauseous

I guess it just all adds up to feeling pretty miserable for most of the day today. Add in Glynda trying her best to go home sick because she felt like "she was dying" but she was "going to suffer through". All emphasis are hers. And meanwhile, I'm sitting there trying to work through the pain and

And yeah, that annoys me. She spent most of the the day trying to leave early or have today completely off all day.

And okay, I'm through dwelling on this (for now0. It feels good getting it offf my chest.
apollymi: Zack holding Cloud, doujinshi art, text reads "Dream of me" (FF7**Zack/Cloud: Dream of me)
Well, today was [personal profile] katsuko's birthday. I got to take her out for a day, even though she ended up paying for most of everything. I even managed to get a little writing done, though honestly (as always) not as much as I wanted to.

That said, I have nothing more for today, except to repeat...

Happy birthday, [personal profile] katsuko!!!


Sunday, 10 February 2019 09:34 pm
apollymi: Zack facing away, text reads "So don't judge me by my failures, only by my dreams" (FF7**Zack: Judge me only by my dreams)
The more I look into this lectin-free diet/Plant Paradox thing, the more it looks like just another fad diet. I figure, when any diet starts saying to cut out brown rice in favor of white rice, it's probably not the best sign.

Either way, though, I'm making no changes to my diet until after my endoscopy is over and done with. I guess I really just want the test to show my stomach and all as it is now, not how I would like it to be. If that makes sense to anybody but me. Though I guess that's what really matters: that it makes sense to me. Right?

Anyway, I just took a Maxalt and a Flexeril, so I'm gonna go throw myself at my bed and see if it accepts me.


Saturday, 9 February 2019 09:59 pm
apollymi: Doujinshi art of Sirius Black, no text (HP**Sirius: Do not approve)
Well, I'm a little bit less livid today, but I'm still in no way ready to talk about the last week at work. I'm dreading going back next week even more than normal now, but I also feel like I've made a lot of my feelings pretty clear to LaTrease and Chris in such a way that they might now better understand my urge to leave. Now I just need to either get this job at Emory or something to come up that would make the whole thing a bit more worthwhile. Don't ask me what that would be, because I have no idea

Mum sent me a list of foods that are lectin-free, because she's starting to wonder if that might be the cause of some of my stomach issues. The ones she lists are: onions, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, pumpkin, sweet potato, carrots, asparagus, cherries, apples, blueberries, oranges, and lemons. And the ones she has down to limit are: nightshades (tomatoes, eggplants, okra, etc), legumes, peanuts, grains, and milk/dairy. She also sent me a note about eating foods with polyphenol, such as cloves, dark chocolate, berries, and some other fruits, like plums, cherries, and apples... and that dark chocolate and red wine are free for alls. Basically, what she's looking at is the Plant Paradox, for whatever that's worth.

Anyone know anything on it? Is it any good? Specifically, is it any good for vegetarians? Or is it just one of those fad diets that makes the rounds every so often?

Fuck all this

Friday, 8 February 2019 10:09 pm
apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Back to back)
I'm just so fucking fed up with this place. I've literally been so angry for the last two days that I've been shaking... and worse, I've been the kind of mad that I start tearing up.

I can't be the only one who does that, right? Cries when I get angry?

Still nothing on the Alpharetta position. Apparently, the people doing the hiring have fallen behind with work.

I went ahead and, since LaTrease was ordering me a new name badge anyway, requested that my name on it be changed to "Pariah".

So, yeah, I'm so fucking done.


Thursday, 7 February 2019 11:22 pm
apollymi: Grumpy kitten, text translates to "the Kitten of Death has you in sight" (Kitten: Kätzchen des Todes)
I'm just so fucking done.

That's it. That's all I've got.

I'm fucking done.


Wednesday, 6 February 2019 10:41 pm
apollymi: Vasquez scoffing at Faraday, animated gif, no text (Mag7**Vasquez: Scoff)
Well, I can't say I really know how well the interview went. It kept getting interrupted, mostly be LaKeisha trying to deal with ongoing testing. So I spent this interview that was supposed to only be 30 minutes (but stretched to an hour and 15 minutes because of interruptions) mostly chatting with the Testing Director, Chris, about fandom and how it's changed from the old Usenet days to now, as well as various ongoing fandoms we have in common... mostly Star Wars (and the disappointment that was The Last Jedi).

But yeah, that's pretty much all I've got. Supposedly they'll be letting the final candidate know by the end of the week, but I'm still not exactly holding my breath here. It would be too much like helpful and a good thing for me to get this position, so I likely won't be getting it.

And now I'm gonna throw myself at my bed and see if I can't make myself sleep off this cough and other grossness.

Back to work

Tuesday, 5 February 2019 11:13 pm
apollymi: Tracy on the phone, looking very unimpressed (FK**Tracy: Not impressed)
Well, I think I see how I rank at work. I think I see how much (or rather how little) I matter to the entire running of the office. Not a single person besides Anastasia asked me how my appointment went yesterday. Well, I take it back: the director Chris asked, but only after I asked how his dentist visit yesterday went. Granted, Richard did wish me the best of luck tomorrow morning, where I'm interviewing for a position at a different testing location within the same department.

If I were to get the position I'm interviewing for tomorrow, it would save me so much time and money and energy. It's literally 15 minutes away with traffic, three exits up the highway from my house. It's just over 6 miles from my house, 7 minutes without traffic. I wouldn't spend an hour and a half getting to work and nearly two hours getting home. I could go to the gym again without it being a huge hassle. I wouldn't be so late getting home that cooking would be a huge hassle.

But I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I did that with the Dunwoody position, and look how well that turned out. And this would be even better than that one, location-wise. And I really just do not want to work with Glynda anymore, Miss "Practically Perfect In Every Way".

And that's all I've got. I'm so damn drained there just aren't words for it.

Well... today...

Monday, 4 February 2019 09:06 pm
apollymi: Duo, Usagi, and Heero with grunge border, text reads "OT3" (OT3: Duo/Usagi/Heero (grunge))
I had my first appointment with the gastroenterologist today. It was also my first appointment at Emory Saint Joseph's Hospital as well. That was interesting. Very confusing parking lot, but interesting all the same. I do have to have another endoscopy done. And let me say that getting a time set up for that was fun. They offered me Wednesday, but there was no way I could do that. Testing is just too crazy that day for us to even try that. I tried to counter with a Monday date; the doc doesn't do procedures on Mondays or Tuesdays.

So the best day we could come up with? Friday the 22nd. Yes, I have to have an endoscopy done on my birthday. Yay.


Sunday, 3 February 2019 10:37 pm
apollymi: Stitch holding his head in pain, no text (L&S**Stitch: Headache)
Well, no, I guess I was wrong: I didn't exactly get a lot done writing-wise today either. I barely got much of anything at all done today, point of fact, thanks to a nasty bit of headache. I finally just gave up and took some of the prescription stuff. Anything to counteract the stabbing pain in my left temple.

I texted this to Mum to remind to ask about, but I'll put it here too: I need to mention to the GI doctor tomorrow that, very suddenly, a lot of foods made with garlic suddenly taste very overpoweringly astringent or metallic to me. Which is distressing to me, because I love garlic.

In light of the headache, though, I'm going to try resting and see if that helps matters any.


Saturday, 2 February 2019 10:27 pm
apollymi: Don Schanke with a paper, looking very unimpressed, no text (FK**Schanke: Schanke is unimpressed)
Well, another weekend day has come and gone with nothing really to show for it. Well, at least not that the internet at large cares about.

I got all my information printed out for Monday's appointment. I made copies of my last endoscopy results. I printed out my lab results from October's tests, which is the most recent set done. I filled out my medical history online, so that I don't have to do all that when I get to the appointment. I spent some time tracking down exactly where the appointment will be at (St. Joe's), but I still haven't been able to find out if parking is free or paid there. Given the area, it's probably paid, so Mum is coming to pick me up at the house. That way, we only have to pay parking on one car.

I guess that's about all I've got to say for myself for today. Maybe tomorrow will be more productive, writing-wise.

Friday at last

Friday, 1 February 2019 09:09 pm
apollymi: Usagi holding Luna, Artemis, and Diana, no text (BSSM**Usagi: Kitties!)
Okay, wow, I am so very out of it. I've been stumbling over words and zoning in and out most of the day, but at least it hasn't hit me in the word count, so I'll take it.

Don't you hate it when there's a food you want but the only way to get it is to make it? And you have none of the ingredients (or time, or brain space enough) to make it yourself? That's where I am right now with my flavored oyster crackers. I've been snacking on them since Christmas, because they sit all right on my stomach, but I'm pretty much out now, and it makes me sad.

It's pretty much so stupidly late that it's come back around to early. I'm going to see if my bed will accept me for a few hours. Later, all.

A... day

Thursday, 31 January 2019 11:19 pm
apollymi: Kyle and Sarah, text reads "Come with me if you want to live" (Term**Kyle/Sarah: Come with me)
Honestly, the only reason I know what day it is anymore is because it's on my computer. I kinda want to call it a week and not bother going back to work, but I have to, I guess. I mean, I'm going to be off so many days in February that it would be wrong to take another day any time soon.

Let's see: I have Monday the 4th off for this initial consultation with the gastroenterologist. I have Monday the 11th off for [personal profile] katsuko's birthday. I have Friday the 22nd off for my own birthday. I think I've mentioned all that before, though.

What's been added to that is that I now have an interview for the position in Alpharetta for Wednesday the 6th. I'm still not terribly hopeful on the whole thing, but it's worth a shot. I'm not throwing this shot away. (Yes, I had to go there.)

It's a work night, and I'm so tired that I can barely see straight, but I'm also not actually sleepy. Tired, but not sleepy. Seems to be the story of my life, huh?

Second Monday

Wednesday, 30 January 2019 11:49 pm
apollymi: Stitch with a cape and a swimsuit top on his head, text reads "I'm the goddamn Batman" (L&S**Stitch: I am the goddamn Batman)
OMG, today was like a Monday all over again! I spent most of the day thrown completely off as to just what day it was and what I was supposed to say to people as they were leaving and so forth. I just kept laughing it off to people and explaining that it feels like Monday all over again for me. Most people just laughed as well and agreed. The ones who didn't laugh just made a comment about the snow day that wasn't.

Writing went pretty okay tonight. I would have been happier to get more done, but it's more than I was expecting, so I'll definitely take it.

And now... sleep.

Sad face

Tuesday, 29 January 2019 09:28 pm
apollymi: Stitch lying on the beach with a lei, text reads "I like fluffy" (L&S**Stitch: I like fluffy)
Well, I was seriously hoping for two days off, but apparently we only get one "abundance of caution" day a month. :( I really wanted tomorrow off too, but I do have to go back to work after all, despite the weather stations calling for black ice on the roads.

All that said, I did enjoy the hell out of having a day off during the week. I'm not sure yet if it makes the week more tolerable, but I'll probably have an answer to that tomorrow.

From here until the end of February, I have some short weeks coming up. I have next Monday the 4th off for a middle of the day doctor's appointment with a gastroenterologist. I have the next Monday the 11th off for [personal profile] katsuko's birthday. And I have the next Friday the 22nd off for my birthday. I suspect that I'll end up having an endoscopy somewhere in there too. (I hope that's going to end up being sooner rather than later.)

And I'm now going to try to go to sleep to the dulcet sounds of sirens