Not sure

Friday, 26 May 2017 11:17 pm
apollymi: Steve & Danny on couch, text reads "It is what it is" (H50**Steve/Danny: It is what it is)
I'm not sure that I really have anything much to say. I'm tired. I'm tired almost beyond meaning of the word, but I need to get some more words done, because I won't really be able to write tomorrow, since I'll be at Mum's and Grandmother's for a very belated Mother's Day.

I still feel like I need to apologize to any potential readers and my characters for what I've been writing and editing the last couple of days. I swear, I only do it out of love.

And now I guess I need to go the fuck to bed, so that I can maybe get a little sleep, so that maybe I can get up at a good time to get on the road. I'm hoping to leave between 6 and 8 tomorrow, after all, so that I can spend plenty of time visiting.

Anyway, I'm going to try to finish up a bit more of this scene, so that I can maybe go do that sleep thing. Later, all.

Another fail

Wednesday, 24 May 2017 09:47 pm
apollymi: Trunks just after landing a punch, no text (DBZ**Trunks: Won't back down)
I definitely didn't manage a thousand words yesterday. Everything I wrote today will probably have to be scrapped, because it's utter shit. None of it really works for the stories they're in.

For now, though, they're words. I guess that's what matters.

Work was long. My right heel continues to hurt. I bought some insoles for shoes, the kind that can be moved from shoe to shoe. Now it hurts like stepping on a nail, instead of before it hurt like stepping on a hot nail. I'm hoping that a few days of wearing the insoles will help... or at least ease the pain enough to be to tolerable levels. Though I guess saying that my heel hurts is a bit of a misnomer: it's more the area between the arch of my foot at the hell, sort of where the heel curves up into the arch? That's the part that hurts. And I'm pretty sure I did it on my feet at Mirko so much.

It actually doesn't hurt too bad when I wear my old Skechers, but I can't wear those to work, sadly enough. I can't wear any kind of trainers to work, because they don't look professional. I have other Skechers with memory foam and all, but none of them are broken in to the point that my old trainers are. In other worse, the other shoes might help the heel a wee bit... but at the expense of the rest of my foot: one is too loose at the heel and gives me blisters, the Mary Janes have a strap that constantly rubs blisters, etc.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I should be trying to find a good pair of Clarks to wear to work. I have a few currently on their web site that I don't dislike... but I'm not sure if I like either.

And anyway, that's all I've got for today. Good night, all.

Failed

Tuesday, 23 May 2017 11:16 pm
apollymi: Trunks staring off in the middle distance, no text (DBZ**Trunks: Sentinel)
I failed at going to bed before 11:30. Hell, I failed going to sleep last night before midnight. One freaking thirty in the morning was when I finally dragged myself to bed last night. I got on a roll. I think I'm almost done with this particular section (and that will have my "mirrors" prompt done), but I'm not sure yet. I did manage my best writing day ever, though: 5,285 words.

Today is not going nearly as well: I haven't even broken a thousand words. I'm going to keep trying, but I don't really think it's going to happen, sadly enough. But I'm a stubborn cuss, and I'm going to keep trying.

I keep thinking that I need to start posting this over on [community profile] 15kinks and [community profile] eternal_sailorm, but I have yet to arse enough willingness to do so just yet. I mean, I'm like months behind again on updating websites. I hate being so tired when I get off work that I just don't want to do anything but sit and write. Nonetheless... That's what I end up doing.

And yeah, I'm out of things to say here. Later, all.

An hour ago

Sunday, 21 May 2017 11:23 pm
apollymi: Chococat sitting in an orange chair, no text (Sanrio**Chococat: This is my ROOM!)
I meant to be in bed an hour ago. We've got a six a.m. day tomorrow, so the sooner we're in bed, the more sleep we'll have.

But the [community profile] 15kinks story took over my brain, and I've slammed out about 2900 words for the "Possessiveness" prompt, plus another 300 of the modern day alternate universe and 200 of editing on various other parts of the main verse. I'm not sure if the story is itself actually completed, though.

So... yeah...

Long day was long

Saturday, 20 May 2017 10:51 pm
apollymi: Chaucer looking annoyed, text reads "I will eviscerate you in fiction" (AKT**Chaucer: Eviscerate you in fiction)
So the porn scene [personal profile] katsuko and I were working on ate away at our respective brains. I ended up being up until 2 this morning working on it. I intended to catch a quick nap until I had to be up by 5 for the TOEFL test I was administering, but Roo decided I needed to wake up around 3 or 3:30 to acknowledge him.

Honestly, I ended up sitting at the end of the bed crying because he keeps doing this and it makes sleep so difficult. [personal profile] katsuko evicted him, and I moved to my bedroom couch and got a little sleep.

The test itself was... all right. We had one no show and two people who showed up with invalid IDs.

After the test, I caught the train to North Springs, let [personal profile] katsuko pick me up, we had some dinner, and then we came home and we both passed the fuck out. We got home around 2:30 or so, and neither of us woke up until after 5:30. I could still drop off where I'm sitting.

That said, I think I'm going to go ahead and crash. Sleep is sounding o damn fantastic, after all.

Falling asleep

Tuesday, 16 May 2017 10:32 pm
apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Shootout)
I keep almost falling asleep on the keyboard. That's actually a bit embarrassing. It's probably a sign that I should be heading on to bed, but I want to finish up more of the scene that [personal profile] katsuko and I have been working on for the last couple of days now. Yeah, the less than happy but somewhat canon compliant Goodnight/Faraday... though in both of the cases where we've written it, it's been Faraday/Goodnight. I'm not too sure what to do with that.

Yeah, I haven't got too much awake left in me, so I'm going to try to get a bit more done on this scene then go collapse.

Plan?
Plan.

So tired

Sunday, 14 May 2017 11:26 pm
apollymi: Ryou holding Thief King Bakura, text reads "Our Farewell" (YGO**Bakura/Ryou: Our Farewell)
I wonder if this is the subject line I've used the most on this journal. Probably so.

Either way I'm trying like hell to keep my eyes open long enough to get this entry typed up, so that I can go the fuck to bed. Because I'm tired enough to say shit like 'go the fuck to bed' at this point in the day. Yeesh.

All I did today was write. I did talk to Mum on the phone a bit, which was really nice, but that was about all I did. Most of what I worked on today was the semi-canon compliant GoodDay story. Seriously, I'm going to have the ending written before we get through the beginning... except that I'm not sure I'm actually working on the ending; I think it's possible I'm working on something a little bit more towards the middle. It's not going to end as quickly or as neatly as we originally intended for them.

That said... I think it's time for me to go the fuck to bed. Goodnight, all.

sorta blah

Friday, 12 May 2017 11:18 pm
apollymi: Ginji in taro/chibi mode with teary eyes (GB**Ginji: *wibble eyes*)
Okay, I'm sorta blah today, and I guess that's sort of expected. It was a long day at work, in which I tried to get writing done, but nothing was willing to cooperate.

I mean, I did manage a few words on Wicked Ones, in the "The Mine" section, but that's it so far. I'm not even sure I've hit 1000 words for the day.

I just can't seem to get my head in the game once I'm at home in order to make the words happen. Usually that's because I'm too tired when I get home to do much of anything.

Maybe once I'm adjusted to New Job, I'll be able to get more done in the evenings. Right now, my body is still slowly adjusting from the craziness of the restaurant to the steady hours of higher education. Once that's done, maybe -- maybe! -- I'll be back to writing more full-time.

Or maybe I'm just burning out. We've been writing pretty much nonstop since November. Or maybe I'm just at difficult sections of all the stories, and trying to make words happen on difficult parts is... well... difficult.

Or maybe it's some combination of some or all of the above.

Pepper

Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:01 pm
apollymi: The Labyrinth goblins staring out of dark background, text reads "The goblins are out to get you" (Labyrinth**Goblins: Out to get you!)
Right now I have enough Dr Pepper in me to fuel a trip to Mars. I didn't want to fall asleep at the keyboard again today like I did yesterday, even though I'm running on even less sleep today than yesterday.

Just one more work day this week, and then I have a couple of days off. [personal profile] desolate03 is back in town, so I know that [personal profile] katsuko and I will be having dinner with her on Saturday, though if my paycheck doesn't get here soon, it's going to be an awfully slim dinner... like Taco Bell or something. Nothing wrong with that, mind you, because Taco Bell is what we tend to eat when we're short on cash anyway, but it seems pretty bad to do that when she's only in town a couple of times a year. Maybe it'll be here by tomorrow. I can hope anyway, because I also need to pay the Verizon bill Saturday as well.

The checks are mailed from Alpharetta, so you would think that would mean they would be arriving here soon. I was actually kind of hoping for it to arrive early, in fact. I guess that was hoping for too much, though.

And yeah, that's about all I've got for today. I call myself trying to make words happen on Wicked Ones, but it's fighting me. I got a lovely long, long review for it, and I feel like I need to update it now after that. I've got Chapter 18 finished, but I want more of 19 completed before I post it.

So, I admit to defeat. I'm gonna go do the sleep thing. G'night, all.

Awake

Wednesday, 10 May 2017 09:45 pm
apollymi: Cup of coffee, pen, and written on paper, text reads "Writer" (My Writing: Writer)
I'm not sure I'm actually awake typing this. I feel more asleep than awake.

Which means tomorrow is absolutely going to suck. It's going to fucking suck out loud. Because tomorrow is my morning to open at New Job. To learn how to open, I guess is the better way to put that.

At least I got to pick the morning I was going to train. I picked tomorrow because [personal profile] katsuko has to be at IKEA at 6:00 a.m. Getting to pick the day I'm training does help.

But either way it's going to suck because it's so early.

But it's so that I know what I'm doing when I have to go in on the 20th from 7:00 until 12:30 in order to administer the TOEFL test.

But I'm still just trying my best to keep my eyes open. At least until I finish typing up what I handwrote and then go to bed. I'm gonna go do that now.

Tired

Tuesday, 9 May 2017 10:06 pm
apollymi: Duo, Usagi, and Heero with grunge border, text reads "OT3" (OT3: Duo/Usagi/Heero (grunge))
[personal profile] katsuko and I went back to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2 today. It was every bit as good the second time around.

Tomorrow at New Job is my new employee orientation. Because I'm on my third week, and I'm just now getting my orientation in. Of course, Anastasia has been there two weeks longer than me and is just now getting her orientation in too.

Anyway, I'm falling asleep where I sit, so I'm going to finish this up. I still need to type up what I wrote at work today. I keep thinking that, if I get a nap, I'll be good to go to knock this bit of copying over, but I know how I am after a nap: I'm tired, grouchy, and lethargic; I'll be even less enthused about getting this done than I already am.

But I also keep falling asleep where I sit, so I'm going to get this done and go the fuck to bed. Later, all.

This has to be quick

Saturday, 6 May 2017 10:01 pm
apollymi: Split icon, top close-up of Ripley's face in color, bottom close-up of Hicks' face in b&w, no text (Aliens**Hicks/Ripley: Stares)
I'm being rushed off to bed, so this journal entry has to be fast.

Not that I really have much to say at this point, seeing as how I stayed home all day and tried to write. Please note the word "tried" up there, because I couldn't get anything to happen. But I tried, so I guess that should count for something.

And yeah, I'm getting those pointed silences and pointed shoving of cats at me again, so I'm going on back the hall. I swear to fuck, I'm just going to set back up in the back of the house and be done with this shit.

Not feeling the love,
Me

Whistling badass

Friday, 5 May 2017 11:46 pm
apollymi: Doujinshi art, Roy & Ed, no text (FMA**Roy/Ed: These quiet moments)
So, I've survived another week at New Job. I'm tired. I'm so damn exhausted, truth be told, but I've made it another week.

I'm getting a little closer to being official at GSU. What I do have: an ADP account for time management (and HR), an email address, a computer login, and a Panther campus ID card. What I don't have yet: keys, an ADP login card for doing my own clock-ins and clock-outs, and a few other things. I'm not sure I feel like a full-fledged employee just yet.

[personal profile] katsuko and I did go to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2 today. It was very good. I'm not saying too much more, because... spoilers. But Yondu is a whistling badass, and I adore him. I want to pick up Baby Groot and freaking cuddle him. There are indeed 5 after credit scenes. Kurt Russell chews on the damn scenery every chance he gets. There are plenty of Easter eggs in the credits. I would like to reiterate that I love Peter Quill and I want to see much, much more of him; I cannot wait for The Avengers: Infinity War to come out.

I like what I love most about the Guardians of the Galaxy movies is that they feel very self-contained. It doesn't feel like each movie is setting up the next in the franchise constantly. Like how all the Phase One individual movies set up The Avengers and how The Avengers: Age of Ultron sets up Thor: Ragnarok and how Captain America: Civil War sets up Spiderman: Homecoming... and so on and so forth. No, the Guardians of the Galaxy movies are self-contained and, for the most part, never even venture to Earth/Terra.

And yeah, that's all I've got to say on the matter. I need to get [personal profile] katsuko into a bed, because she has an early shift in the morning.

So.... later, all.

Something

Thursday, 4 May 2017 11:01 pm
apollymi: Kaiba looking determined, text reads "Where angels fear to tread" (YGO**Kaiba: Where angels fear to tread)
One of these nights I'm actually going to have something worthwhile to say here, instead of always bitching about sleep and how tired I am and all that shit.

I did manage to write some today. It was on Wicked Ones and Resurrectionist, a little bit on each one, probably less than 400 words in total. But I'm trying. I'm working on getting words. They are happening; they're just happening slowly. But whatever works, right? As long as the words occur, that's what matters, yes?

I don't think I'm going to get a thousand words today. I'll be doing good to break 700 in total, I'm thinking.

And I won't get too many words done tomorrow either. I'm finally in the computer system at New Job, so tomorrow I have to go get my picture ID and my keys. I'll also be getting an email address set up tomorrow too.

...Plus... Movie. Tomorrow is the day that [personal profile] katsuko and I are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2. I'm seriously excited. You can't tell it, but I am.

Anyway, that's about it. Later.

So tired

Wednesday, 3 May 2017 10:48 pm
apollymi: Bakura and Kaiba, close up on eyes, text reads "Your eyes" (YGO**Bakura/Kaiba: Your eyes)
I need to hurry up and get adjusted to this new schedule. Which means I need to get used to going to bed at a decent time. That's proving difficult, though. I've had three or so years now of going to bed ridiculously late and then getting up whenever... and probably supplementing it with naps throughout the day. I keep thinking about the fact that there is a "relaxation room" in the office suite at New Job, but I don't have keys yet to get back in the area where it's at, which does indeed put a damper on going to visit it. When I eventually get said keys, I guess I could start eating lunch at my desk and spending my lunch hour there napping or what have you. That might work... or it might get me more thrown off. I don't know. It's a moot point right now, but it's still a thought that keeps percolating through my head.

I'm so tired all the time, and most of the time that just translates into me being a bit weepy, a bit emotionally drained, and a bit null and void. Even when I do sleep, I can't say I've really dreamed anything for a bit. There just isn't enough in me, I suppose.

Sleeping on my side and all has my left shoulder acting all fucking up again. I've been sleeping on my left side because I tend to get less nauseous in the night that way, but it doesn't look like that's going to work. I try to sleep on my back, but I really can't, not when I don't have Jimi to lay between my knees, not when Roo wants to lay on my chest. It's more the former than the latter, though: I can't sleep on my back without Jimi between my knees.

And now I can't breathe.

I don't think I have anything else I can say, other than some vague reports on writing. I did a little on Wicked Ones Chapter Nineteen, and I did some more on Resurrectionist's chapter "Bite". I don't think I managed 1000 words today, but honestly, I don't care.

Goodnight.

So tired

Tuesday, 2 May 2017 11:08 pm
apollymi: Trunks just after landing a punch, no text (DBZ**Trunks: Won't back down)
I'm so frigging tired, and all I can think about is how much I want to go to bed and collapse, but I managed to write a bit on Wicked Ones, and I need to get it typed up before I go to sleep. I'm also trying to get to my 1000 words for the day, and that's just being slow going this time.

Supposedly, I should be fully in the computer system at New Job tomorrow or Thursday. Since I'm not really looking forward to doing that walk again, I'm almost hoping for it to be Thursday. But since I still need my ID and login in and email and all, tomorrow would be good too.

And yeah, I just got nothing today. I'm gonna get this shit typed up and then go to bed. Later.

first of may

Monday, 1 May 2017 10:26 pm
apollymi: Cloud leaning on Zack, text reads "Love will find a way" (FF7**Zack/Cloud: Love will find a way)
For some reason, my Tumblr is all talking about N'Sync and May 1st... and that's very much not the song that immediately springs to mind for me today. That's this:


And now that I've been a wee bit scandalous, I feel like I should say that I passed out on my couch at just gone 8:00, and I just woke back up, pretty much in time to go back to bed.

All I managed to write on today was Memento Mori, and not that much of it in fact. It goes down like this:
What I need to be working on - Wicked Ones or After Midnight
What I want to be working on - Resurrectionist
What I actually worked on - Memento Mori

Because that makes so much sense, right?

Fuck it. I'm going to type up what I wrote today and go the fuck to bed. Good night.

End of April Camp

Sunday, 30 April 2017 10:35 pm
apollymi: Sailor Moon posing, no text (BSSM**Usagi: ☮ (Peace!))
It's the very last day of Camp NaNoWriMo April Edition. It's been a fun right. I can say that I did finish the month with over 50,000 words, which was my goal. I did decide at the last minute that I wanted to write more words than [personal profile] daimeryan_rei, which was probably a dumb idea, since Dirj writes like a mother, and it meant I needed to do a last minute word sprint to get to where I wanted to be. It meant I had to break out Write or Die to get a thousand words in 30 minutes at one point. I'm trying my best to get the words I need, but it's going to be tight. I'm not sure how much awake I've got left in me at this point.

On the other hand, I had a nice two days off in a row, and I think I'm going to get very spoiled on that. It gave me long enough to feel a little less run down. It gave my feet long enough to stop hurting quite as much as they were before.

Tuesday I do have my Benefits orientation, so I'll be getting myself signed up for those in the very near, which is damn nice. That's a nice thing to be moving towards. I'm still not sure if I'm going to go with Single Healthcare or Domestic Partnership Healthcare. It's a terribly important thing to be deciding on, though, so I'm not rushing it. Either way, [personal profile] katsuko still has her coverage through IKEA, which also covers me until mine goes into effect. If I go with single coverage, then in June, during open enrollment, she can change to single as well. If I go with the domestic partner coverage, she cancel her IKEA one altogether.

But that's a saga for Tuesday. Right now I'm not going to worry about it, since it's something I'm not making decisions on until I have all the information in front of me.

And Friday is the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie! I so cannot wait! I need some good, happy Marvel movie. Because my Tumblr is alive with bitching about Captain America: Civil War, and I'm fucking sick of it. It's been the first fandom thing I've blocked on Tumblr.

And I guess it's time for me to get my ass to bed. The morning comes early, since I have to have [personal profile] katsuko to IKEA by 7:00 and myself to New Job by 8:30. Later, all.

Whoops

Saturday, 29 April 2017 11:53 pm
apollymi: Steve & Danny on couch, text reads "It is what it is" (H50**Steve/Danny: It is what it is)
I think I slept most of one of my two days off away. I mean, it's nice, because I feel a little closer to human, more than I have in weeks, really. But I saw [personal profile] katsuko off to work this morning at 6:15 or so, stayed awake until I got a text saying she was at work, went back to sleep, stayed asleep until almost 11, piddled around the house until she got home from work at 3:40 or so, ran errands, came home, laid down for a nap at 8:30... and just now woke up again.

And now it's almost 1 in the damn morning, I think I'm going to be going back to bed PDQ (pretty damn quick).

But on the other hand, I did manage to accomplish one thing: I bought [personal profile] katsuko and I tickets to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2. Okay, granted, I bought them for Thursday, because I was looking at the wrong week's schedule for [personal profile] katsuko. So part of our errands today was to go by the movie theatre and exchange them for tickets for the most appropriate Friday showing.

I am so stupidly excited about this movie. I'm desperately avoiding spoilers, but everyone has said that they enjoyed it. That's a good sign.

Even if I did dream a bit of fucked-up-ness of Chris Pratt's characters from the last three movies I saw him in (Joshua Faraday, Owen Grady, and Peter Quill) all being half-brothers, because Ego the Living Planet cannot keep it in his/its metaphorical pants throughout time and space.

And I refuse to write that. I will not write that. Not when I still have so many projects on my plate.

So tired

Thursday, 27 April 2017 11:01 pm
apollymi: Ryou holding Thief King Bakura, text reads "Our Farewell" (YGO**Bakura/Ryou: Our Farewell)
I would love to go through my journal and see if this is the subject line that is used the most often. Because, honestly, unless I sleep a good ten or so hours, I'm always tired. And Roo doesn't believe in mommies sleeping that long. It cuts into his quality first breakfast time.

We were talking about pets at New Job today, and I just barely held it together. I kept having to correct myself from saying "I have three cats", and it just wrecked me. It just fucking wrecked me.

Mum sent me a video from Jellybean. She knew I was very sad about Jimi and made me a card and wants to come visit me.

Still don't seem right: me drawing breath when Jimi isn't. Seems like I should fix this. It keeps feeling like I should fix this. I keep on not fixing it.

And yeah, that's all I've fucking got in me. That's all I've fucking got.