This has to be quick

Saturday, 6 May 2017 10:01 pm
apollymi: Split icon, top close-up of Ripley's face in color, bottom close-up of Hicks' face in b&w, no text (Aliens**Hicks/Ripley: Stares)
I'm being rushed off to bed, so this journal entry has to be fast.

Not that I really have much to say at this point, seeing as how I stayed home all day and tried to write. Please note the word "tried" up there, because I couldn't get anything to happen. But I tried, so I guess that should count for something.

And yeah, I'm getting those pointed silences and pointed shoving of cats at me again, so I'm going on back the hall. I swear to fuck, I'm just going to set back up in the back of the house and be done with this shit.

Not feeling the love,
Me

Whistling badass

Friday, 5 May 2017 11:46 pm
apollymi: Doujinshi art, Roy & Ed, no text (FMA**Roy/Ed: These quiet moments)
So, I've survived another week at New Job. I'm tired. I'm so damn exhausted, truth be told, but I've made it another week.

I'm getting a little closer to being official at GSU. What I do have: an ADP account for time management (and HR), an email address, a computer login, and a Panther campus ID card. What I don't have yet: keys, an ADP login card for doing my own clock-ins and clock-outs, and a few other things. I'm not sure I feel like a full-fledged employee just yet.

[personal profile] katsuko and I did go to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2 today. It was very good. I'm not saying too much more, because... spoilers. But Yondu is a whistling badass, and I adore him. I want to pick up Baby Groot and freaking cuddle him. There are indeed 5 after credit scenes. Kurt Russell chews on the damn scenery every chance he gets. There are plenty of Easter eggs in the credits. I would like to reiterate that I love Peter Quill and I want to see much, much more of him; I cannot wait for The Avengers: Infinity War to come out.

I like what I love most about the Guardians of the Galaxy movies is that they feel very self-contained. It doesn't feel like each movie is setting up the next in the franchise constantly. Like how all the Phase One individual movies set up The Avengers and how The Avengers: Age of Ultron sets up Thor: Ragnarok and how Captain America: Civil War sets up Spiderman: Homecoming... and so on and so forth. No, the Guardians of the Galaxy movies are self-contained and, for the most part, never even venture to Earth/Terra.

And yeah, that's all I've got to say on the matter. I need to get [personal profile] katsuko into a bed, because she has an early shift in the morning.

So.... later, all.

Something

Thursday, 4 May 2017 11:01 pm
apollymi: Kaiba looking determined, text reads "Where angels fear to tread" (YGO**Kaiba: Where angels fear to tread)
One of these nights I'm actually going to have something worthwhile to say here, instead of always bitching about sleep and how tired I am and all that shit.

I did manage to write some today. It was on Wicked Ones and Resurrectionist, a little bit on each one, probably less than 400 words in total. But I'm trying. I'm working on getting words. They are happening; they're just happening slowly. But whatever works, right? As long as the words occur, that's what matters, yes?

I don't think I'm going to get a thousand words today. I'll be doing good to break 700 in total, I'm thinking.

And I won't get too many words done tomorrow either. I'm finally in the computer system at New Job, so tomorrow I have to go get my picture ID and my keys. I'll also be getting an email address set up tomorrow too.

...Plus... Movie. Tomorrow is the day that [personal profile] katsuko and I are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2. I'm seriously excited. You can't tell it, but I am.

Anyway, that's about it. Later.

So tired

Wednesday, 3 May 2017 10:48 pm
apollymi: Bakura and Kaiba, close up on eyes, text reads "Your eyes" (YGO**Bakura/Kaiba: Your eyes)
I need to hurry up and get adjusted to this new schedule. Which means I need to get used to going to bed at a decent time. That's proving difficult, though. I've had three or so years now of going to bed ridiculously late and then getting up whenever... and probably supplementing it with naps throughout the day. I keep thinking about the fact that there is a "relaxation room" in the office suite at New Job, but I don't have keys yet to get back in the area where it's at, which does indeed put a damper on going to visit it. When I eventually get said keys, I guess I could start eating lunch at my desk and spending my lunch hour there napping or what have you. That might work... or it might get me more thrown off. I don't know. It's a moot point right now, but it's still a thought that keeps percolating through my head.

I'm so tired all the time, and most of the time that just translates into me being a bit weepy, a bit emotionally drained, and a bit null and void. Even when I do sleep, I can't say I've really dreamed anything for a bit. There just isn't enough in me, I suppose.

Sleeping on my side and all has my left shoulder acting all fucking up again. I've been sleeping on my left side because I tend to get less nauseous in the night that way, but it doesn't look like that's going to work. I try to sleep on my back, but I really can't, not when I don't have Jimi to lay between my knees, not when Roo wants to lay on my chest. It's more the former than the latter, though: I can't sleep on my back without Jimi between my knees.

And now I can't breathe.

I don't think I have anything else I can say, other than some vague reports on writing. I did a little on Wicked Ones Chapter Nineteen, and I did some more on Resurrectionist's chapter "Bite". I don't think I managed 1000 words today, but honestly, I don't care.

Goodnight.

So tired

Tuesday, 2 May 2017 11:08 pm
apollymi: Trunks just after landing a punch, no text (DBZ**Trunks: Won't back down)
I'm so frigging tired, and all I can think about is how much I want to go to bed and collapse, but I managed to write a bit on Wicked Ones, and I need to get it typed up before I go to sleep. I'm also trying to get to my 1000 words for the day, and that's just being slow going this time.

Supposedly, I should be fully in the computer system at New Job tomorrow or Thursday. Since I'm not really looking forward to doing that walk again, I'm almost hoping for it to be Thursday. But since I still need my ID and login in and email and all, tomorrow would be good too.

And yeah, I just got nothing today. I'm gonna get this shit typed up and then go to bed. Later.

first of may

Monday, 1 May 2017 10:26 pm
apollymi: Cloud leaning on Zack, text reads "Love will find a way" (FF7**Zack/Cloud: Love will find a way)
For some reason, my Tumblr is all talking about N'Sync and May 1st... and that's very much not the song that immediately springs to mind for me today. That's this:


And now that I've been a wee bit scandalous, I feel like I should say that I passed out on my couch at just gone 8:00, and I just woke back up, pretty much in time to go back to bed.

All I managed to write on today was Memento Mori, and not that much of it in fact. It goes down like this:
What I need to be working on - Wicked Ones or After Midnight
What I want to be working on - Resurrectionist
What I actually worked on - Memento Mori

Because that makes so much sense, right?

Fuck it. I'm going to type up what I wrote today and go the fuck to bed. Good night.

End of April Camp

Sunday, 30 April 2017 10:35 pm
apollymi: Sailor Moon posing, no text (BSSM**Usagi: ☮ (Peace!))
It's the very last day of Camp NaNoWriMo April Edition. It's been a fun right. I can say that I did finish the month with over 50,000 words, which was my goal. I did decide at the last minute that I wanted to write more words than [personal profile] daimeryan_rei, which was probably a dumb idea, since Dirj writes like a mother, and it meant I needed to do a last minute word sprint to get to where I wanted to be. It meant I had to break out Write or Die to get a thousand words in 30 minutes at one point. I'm trying my best to get the words I need, but it's going to be tight. I'm not sure how much awake I've got left in me at this point.

On the other hand, I had a nice two days off in a row, and I think I'm going to get very spoiled on that. It gave me long enough to feel a little less run down. It gave my feet long enough to stop hurting quite as much as they were before.

Tuesday I do have my Benefits orientation, so I'll be getting myself signed up for those in the very near, which is damn nice. That's a nice thing to be moving towards. I'm still not sure if I'm going to go with Single Healthcare or Domestic Partnership Healthcare. It's a terribly important thing to be deciding on, though, so I'm not rushing it. Either way, [personal profile] katsuko still has her coverage through IKEA, which also covers me until mine goes into effect. If I go with single coverage, then in June, during open enrollment, she can change to single as well. If I go with the domestic partner coverage, she cancel her IKEA one altogether.

But that's a saga for Tuesday. Right now I'm not going to worry about it, since it's something I'm not making decisions on until I have all the information in front of me.

And Friday is the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie! I so cannot wait! I need some good, happy Marvel movie. Because my Tumblr is alive with bitching about Captain America: Civil War, and I'm fucking sick of it. It's been the first fandom thing I've blocked on Tumblr.

And I guess it's time for me to get my ass to bed. The morning comes early, since I have to have [personal profile] katsuko to IKEA by 7:00 and myself to New Job by 8:30. Later, all.

Whoops

Saturday, 29 April 2017 11:53 pm
apollymi: Steve & Danny on couch, text reads "It is what it is" (H50**Steve/Danny: It is what it is)
I think I slept most of one of my two days off away. I mean, it's nice, because I feel a little closer to human, more than I have in weeks, really. But I saw [personal profile] katsuko off to work this morning at 6:15 or so, stayed awake until I got a text saying she was at work, went back to sleep, stayed asleep until almost 11, piddled around the house until she got home from work at 3:40 or so, ran errands, came home, laid down for a nap at 8:30... and just now woke up again.

And now it's almost 1 in the damn morning, I think I'm going to be going back to bed PDQ (pretty damn quick).

But on the other hand, I did manage to accomplish one thing: I bought [personal profile] katsuko and I tickets to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2. Okay, granted, I bought them for Thursday, because I was looking at the wrong week's schedule for [personal profile] katsuko. So part of our errands today was to go by the movie theatre and exchange them for tickets for the most appropriate Friday showing.

I am so stupidly excited about this movie. I'm desperately avoiding spoilers, but everyone has said that they enjoyed it. That's a good sign.

Even if I did dream a bit of fucked-up-ness of Chris Pratt's characters from the last three movies I saw him in (Joshua Faraday, Owen Grady, and Peter Quill) all being half-brothers, because Ego the Living Planet cannot keep it in his/its metaphorical pants throughout time and space.

And I refuse to write that. I will not write that. Not when I still have so many projects on my plate.

Long week of long

Friday, 28 April 2017 10:31 pm
apollymi: Zack facing away, text reads "So don't judge me by my failures, only by my dreams" (FF7**Zack: Judge me only by my dreams)
So I'm finally done with my first week of work at New Job. I guess it's going well enough. I'm now certified to work in the center, as of today. I've been allowed to check a few people in and out now, though not by myself, because rules. Coworkers continue to seem pretty okay. I'm not sure what else to say there. It's not exactly an intellectually stimulating job, but it's a job and I'm getting paid (though not until 12 May for my first check... which will apparently be mailed) and that's good.

I handwrote a bit today, but not as much I would like. I also failed to get it typed up, so I'm going to count it in tomorrow's words... because that's how I roll, yo.

I have had a lot of feline assistance with this post. Roo has hovered on my lap off and on since I got home, and Boo has stopped by a time or two as well. Because that's how they roll apparently.

And that's pretty much it. Later, all.

So tired

Thursday, 27 April 2017 11:01 pm
apollymi: Ryou holding Thief King Bakura, text reads "Our Farewell" (YGO**Bakura/Ryou: Our Farewell)
I would love to go through my journal and see if this is the subject line that is used the most often. Because, honestly, unless I sleep a good ten or so hours, I'm always tired. And Roo doesn't believe in mommies sleeping that long. It cuts into his quality first breakfast time.

We were talking about pets at New Job today, and I just barely held it together. I kept having to correct myself from saying "I have three cats", and it just wrecked me. It just fucking wrecked me.

Mum sent me a video from Jellybean. She knew I was very sad about Jimi and made me a card and wants to come visit me.

Still don't seem right: me drawing breath when Jimi isn't. Seems like I should fix this. It keeps feeling like I should fix this. I keep on not fixing it.

And yeah, that's all I've fucking got in me. That's all I've fucking got.

For today

Wednesday, 26 April 2017 11:01 pm
apollymi: White background with a black flashing cursor, text reads "It mocks me", animated (My Writing: Cursor mocks me)
I'm not sure what I have to say for today.

I went to New Job today. I thought I was going to have to figure out how to do new stuff there today, but instead the most new they're letting me do is that now I can assign lockers to people. Wow, I'm moving up so fast in the world. But I did get to leave a bit early, and that was good. It was nice getting out there at a fairly early time, even if it did mean that I caught every bit of 400 North traffic from North Springs, where it took 20 minutes to go five miles.

Other than that, I'm just trying to make words happen. Like I'm sitting here, staring at a cursor that continues to mock me and mock my pain, and the words are just refusing to happen. I might have to admit to defeat rather than keep on trying, because it's getting late and I have to be up at 6:30 in the morning.

So, yeah, I'm just going to go with that: admit some defeat, go to sleep, and then make myself some more soup in the morning for my work day. Plan? Yes. Good plan? Ehhh.

Either way, it's all I've got right now, with the boys refusing to be helpful, like the little bastards that they sometimes are. One Faraday is nervous because he's in the process of making peace with his brother. One Faraday is nervous because Goody got bit by zombies three days ago and may or may not turn into one. One Faraday is a confused little thief, sitting on an expensive couch going "Whaaa? I've got friends? Why didn't anyone tell me?" One Faraday just a monster and just got shot by a hedge witch. One Faraday just literally came back from the dead. One (bitty) Faraday just ran away from home (in one of the three Wicked Ones AUs). All these verses, and none of them want to talk right now. WTF, boys? Why do you have to be such little shits?

So yeah, fuck it, I'm going to bed.

Remaining

Tuesday, 25 April 2017 09:56 pm
apollymi: Eternal Sailor Moon against a bright yellow background, no text (BSSM**Usagi: Stand tall (ESM))
I am still a bit underimpressed with New Job. I am still feeling like a trained monkey or a student worker might be better suited for it. But it's decent enough money, nearly double what I was making at Mirko, so I'm pulling on my big girl panties and dealing with it for now.

I'm fighting hard to keep my eyes open long enough to make this post. I'm just so tired. I have to get up in the morning and make macaroni salad, because I forgot to do it tonight. There is a picnic-theme potluck at New Job tomorrow, and as the newest person, I'll have to attend in order to meet new coworkers. I'm making the only picnic-themed food I can do quickly, because otherwise I'll just be like "fuck this, time for more curry".

And that's about all I've got in me for today. I'm tired, I'm dealing, and I still will keep on keeping on. I did manage to write a little bit on Wicked Ones during break and before New Work. I finished up two sections that were still sitting at incomplete, so "Not quite forgiveness" and "Devious Boys" are now done. "Wild Jack" is now started. I've identified at least one more section that still needs to be written prior to "Devious Boys", but other than that, Chapters Seventeen and Eighteen should be just about done. Chapter Nineteen is quickly approaching done as well.

And that's it. Good night, my freaky darlings.

New Job

Monday, 24 April 2017 10:22 pm
apollymi: Vachon leaning close over Nick's shoulder, no text (FK**Nick/Vachon: Heartbreakers)
I started New Job today. Thus far, I'm underwhelmed. In fact, it feels like a trained monkey could do it... so I'm not sure why they required a bachelor's degree for it.

My best description for it is "I'm airport security". My job will consist of... )

I'm one day in, so I'm trying not to let my initial thoughts color the whole experience, but I'm decidedly underwhelmed. I'm very uncomfortable with this level of invasion of privacy we have to do to these people. It's not keeping bombs off airplanes. It's... taking a test.

Last day

Sunday, 23 April 2017 04:05 pm
apollymi: Close ups of Arthur and Eames, no text (Incep**Eames/Arthur: Dream bigger)
Today is my last day at Mirko. It feels like the end of an era... but a good thing at the same time. I've had this job for 2 1/2 years, and it's kept me (mostly) above water in some really hard financial times. But it's also been one of the most stressful times of my life, no thanks to the job. I'm not sad to see it go, but it's going to be weird now that's not here. If that makes sense.

I haven't written nearly as much today as I wanted to, but I'm still going. I'll get there. I'll get my word count in. I will get there. I'll get my words in before I have to go home for the night and do all those other things: cooking lunch, washing my hair, shaving my legs, etc.

And yeah, that's about it. I'm really a boring person right now. We'll see how I am tomorrow, though.

The tentative plan for tomorrow is to be at the train station by or before 7:00. I'll need to get the 7:19 train, so I need to allow myself time to find parking (though hopefully it won't be too long that early in the morning). [personal profile] katsuko will travel with me as far as Arts Center Station, where she will get off for IKEA. I'll go on to Peachtree Center Station, where I will then have a 10 minute walk to New Job. I'm trying to be there before 8:30. Today is sort of the test to see about times and so forth. At 5:15, when I get off work, I'll take the train as far as Art Center Station, get off, wait there for [personal profile] katsuko to get there from IKEA, and then we'll take the train all the way back to North Springs... and then drive the rest of the way home. It is a plan. We'll see how it ends up working, though.

And that's really it. I'm out of words for journaling. Later, my freaky darlings.

Something quick

Saturday, 22 April 2017 09:57 pm
apollymi: Yami no Bakura on a stripy background, text reads "Evil (crossed out 'looks like') IS a gay Japanese schoolboy" (YGO**Bakura: The face of evil)
It's late and I'm on my way to bed, so this is going to be quick.

I wrote like hell today. I hope I'm able to do that again today, because I'll need to go to bed early for New Job.

And yeah, that's about all I have to talk about: writing and sleep.

So... yeah.

okay

Friday, 21 April 2017 10:53 pm
apollymi: Draco & Slytherin company, text reads "Real friends help you crucio the witnesses" (HP**Draco: Real friends)
I opened this up s bit ago and forgot to make a post, so I'm just going to do a quick one right here and hope that it is somewhat coherent. I'm not placing bets on that being the case. I'm not placing bets one me being coherent in the first place at all.

Roo and Boo are being extra cute and cuddly today. This is nice. Except Roo wants to chew on fingers while he's being extra cuddly, and Boo is very very weighty. She and I both need to be exercising. I want to get a treadmill for us both.

And yeah, I'm still ridiculously super tired, so this is going to have to be the bulk of my post today. I'm not going to hit the minimum words I need for the day, and I'm going to have to accept that. Somehow I will live, and I'll just make up those words tomorrow.

So yeah, that's it for me for today. Tomorrow's plans include hella writing and maybe going up to Buford to look at some dress shoes for New Job (and eat at Genghis Grill while we're there).

Later, all.

Numb

Thursday, 20 April 2017 11:14 pm
apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Back to back)
I'm not sure I've got anything in me today. I'm still feeling incredibly withdrawn from my body and from my mind. All I've wanted to do for days now is just find a vaguely horizontal surface and just collapse on it.

I'm still having to make myself eat. It's actually really hard. Food just doesn't sound good at all, and I get nauseated at the thought of it right now. Well, at least this ought to get some of the weight off me?

Why isn't there more fanfic out there for Wynonna/Doc/Dolls in the Wynonna Earp fandom? There is a sad dearth of them. The threeway chemistry is just too strong to ignore. Dammit, I think I picked up another rare pairing.

And that's it. I've got nothing else in me. Later, all.

Dark Matters

Wednesday, 19 April 2017 10:42 pm
apollymi: Zack facing away, text reads "So don't judge me by my failures, only by my dreams" (FF7**Zack: Judge me only by my dreams)
I need to say all this, and it's probably going to break me a little -- a lot -- to get any of it out, but it has to happen. It's just sitting behind my throat, eating away at me, and if I don't get it out, I feel like I'm going to go mad.

Jimi died yesterday, Tuesday the 18th. )
apollymi: Bakura looking smug, text reads "He belongs to the dark" (YGO**Bakura: He belongs to the dark)
I'm doing this to keep my mind of my sick kitty. I should have money by tomorrow to take him to the vet, and I'm just going to have to hope it will be soon enough. I've been working on Resurrectionist because it's pretty much the perfect combination of fluff and angst for getting through the day.

Either way, I wanted to share some of the "shippier" stories I've enjoyed in The Magnificent Seven with you, [personal profile] daimeryan_rei, since the last recs post gave you mostly gen fics.

Pretty much all of these are some permutation of Vasquez/Faraday (Varaday), usually with some Goodnight/Billy (GoodRocks) in the background, and most of them are by the same couple of authors. Because [archiveofourown.org profile] Hazel_Athena and [archiveofourown.org profile] ThrillingDetectiveTales deserve so much love.

The recs )

I might have gone a little nuts there. Sorry!

[personal profile] katsuko (or anyone else), if you can think of any others to add into this list, please leave them in the comments!

Sick kitty

Monday, 17 April 2017 11:25 pm
apollymi: Draco & Slytherin company, text reads "Real friends help you crucio the witnesses" (HP**Draco: Real friends)
Jimi's still acting like he doesn't feel well. I haven't seen him eat anything since early yesterday, and he's barely drinking water. Mist and Fluffy sent some money so that I can go ahead and take him to the vet as soon as possible. Honestly, if it deposits tomorrow, I'll probably go ahead and take him then. Otherwise, it'll be Wednesday morning first thing.

In other news, I've been so stressed over Jimi and being unable to do anything that I sublimated it into writing... and I've already done 2400 words today, with no signs of stopping yet. I'm just writing, writing, writing.

And yeah. That's it.