Dear world

Friday, 15 February 2019 11:48 pm
apollymi: Captain America and Bucky staring at each other, no text (Aveng**Steve/Bucky: Watching)
It's been that kind of day. Week. Month. Year. I'm really starting to wonder if there's any real point of me being here... besides being the universe's cosmic joke. I ended up putting in several applications over my lunch break today, so we'll see if anything comes of any of it. I'm not exactly hopeful of much of anything at this point. It's kinda rough feeling like hell, worrying about one's health, getting a write-up at work, and then still catching shit from one's coworkers all at once. It makes me want to turn to the camera at work, ask if Prometric has ever livestreamed an attempted suicide, and then just fucking go for it. I suspect I would be far from the first, though. Maybe the first that wasn't a tester, but then again, maybe not.

Besides, who the hell would miss a fuckup like me.

Something quick

Tuesday, 12 February 2019 10:25 pm
apollymi: Chococat sitting in an orange chair, no text (Sanrio**Chococat: This is my ROOM!)
Well, once again, it's nearly the end of the night, and I'm not yet in bed. I still don't have an answer about Alpharetta. It was not a good day for pain and even more so for balance and nausea. I've just felt like curling up and dying. Hells bells, I even feel like I coughed out a lung, trying to keep from feel to horribly nauseous

I guess it just all adds up to feeling pretty miserable for most of the day today. Add in Glynda trying her best to go home sick because she felt like "she was dying" but she was "going to suffer through". All emphasis are hers. And meanwhile, I'm sitting there trying to work through the pain and

And yeah, that annoys me. She spent most of the the day trying to leave early or have today completely off all day.

And okay, I'm through dwelling on this (for now0. It feels good getting it offf my chest.

Something

Saturday, 9 February 2019 09:59 pm
apollymi: Doujinshi art of Sirius Black, no text (HP**Sirius: Do not approve)
Well, I'm a little bit less livid today, but I'm still in no way ready to talk about the last week at work. I'm dreading going back next week even more than normal now, but I also feel like I've made a lot of my feelings pretty clear to LaTrease and Chris in such a way that they might now better understand my urge to leave. Now I just need to either get this job at Emory or something to come up that would make the whole thing a bit more worthwhile. Don't ask me what that would be, because I have no idea

Mum sent me a list of foods that are lectin-free, because she's starting to wonder if that might be the cause of some of my stomach issues. The ones she lists are: onions, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, pumpkin, sweet potato, carrots, asparagus, cherries, apples, blueberries, oranges, and lemons. And the ones she has down to limit are: nightshades (tomatoes, eggplants, okra, etc), legumes, peanuts, grains, and milk/dairy. She also sent me a note about eating foods with polyphenol, such as cloves, dark chocolate, berries, and some other fruits, like plums, cherries, and apples... and that dark chocolate and red wine are free for alls. Basically, what she's looking at is the Plant Paradox, for whatever that's worth.

Anyone know anything on it? Is it any good? Specifically, is it any good for vegetarians? Or is it just one of those fad diets that makes the rounds every so often?

Fuck all this

Friday, 8 February 2019 10:09 pm
apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Back to back)
I'm just so fucking fed up with this place. I've literally been so angry for the last two days that I've been shaking... and worse, I've been the kind of mad that I start tearing up.

I can't be the only one who does that, right? Cries when I get angry?

Still nothing on the Alpharetta position. Apparently, the people doing the hiring have fallen behind with work.

I went ahead and, since LaTrease was ordering me a new name badge anyway, requested that my name on it be changed to "Pariah".

So, yeah, I'm so fucking done.

Something

Thursday, 7 February 2019 11:22 pm
apollymi: Grumpy kitten, text translates to "the Kitten of Death has you in sight" (Kitten: Kätzchen des Todes)
I'm just so fucking done.

That's it. That's all I've got.

I'm fucking done.

Today

Wednesday, 6 February 2019 10:41 pm
apollymi: Vasquez scoffing at Faraday, animated gif, no text (Mag7**Vasquez: Scoff)
Well, I can't say I really know how well the interview went. It kept getting interrupted, mostly be LaKeisha trying to deal with ongoing testing. So I spent this interview that was supposed to only be 30 minutes (but stretched to an hour and 15 minutes because of interruptions) mostly chatting with the Testing Director, Chris, about fandom and how it's changed from the old Usenet days to now, as well as various ongoing fandoms we have in common... mostly Star Wars (and the disappointment that was The Last Jedi).

But yeah, that's pretty much all I've got. Supposedly they'll be letting the final candidate know by the end of the week, but I'm still not exactly holding my breath here. It would be too much like helpful and a good thing for me to get this position, so I likely won't be getting it.

And now I'm gonna throw myself at my bed and see if I can't make myself sleep off this cough and other grossness.

Back to work

Tuesday, 5 February 2019 11:13 pm
apollymi: Tracy on the phone, looking very unimpressed (FK**Tracy: Not impressed)
Well, I think I see how I rank at work. I think I see how much (or rather how little) I matter to the entire running of the office. Not a single person besides Anastasia asked me how my appointment went yesterday. Well, I take it back: the director Chris asked, but only after I asked how his dentist visit yesterday went. Granted, Richard did wish me the best of luck tomorrow morning, where I'm interviewing for a position at a different testing location within the same department.

If I were to get the position I'm interviewing for tomorrow, it would save me so much time and money and energy. It's literally 15 minutes away with traffic, three exits up the highway from my house. It's just over 6 miles from my house, 7 minutes without traffic. I wouldn't spend an hour and a half getting to work and nearly two hours getting home. I could go to the gym again without it being a huge hassle. I wouldn't be so late getting home that cooking would be a huge hassle.

But I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I did that with the Dunwoody position, and look how well that turned out. And this would be even better than that one, location-wise. And I really just do not want to work with Glynda anymore, Miss "Practically Perfect In Every Way".

And that's all I've got. I'm so damn drained there just aren't words for it.

A... day

Thursday, 31 January 2019 11:19 pm
apollymi: Kyle and Sarah, text reads "Come with me if you want to live" (Term**Kyle/Sarah: Come with me)
Honestly, the only reason I know what day it is anymore is because it's on my computer. I kinda want to call it a week and not bother going back to work, but I have to, I guess. I mean, I'm going to be off so many days in February that it would be wrong to take another day any time soon.

Let's see: I have Monday the 4th off for this initial consultation with the gastroenterologist. I have Monday the 11th off for [personal profile] katsuko's birthday. I have Friday the 22nd off for my own birthday. I think I've mentioned all that before, though.

What's been added to that is that I now have an interview for the position in Alpharetta for Wednesday the 6th. I'm still not terribly hopeful on the whole thing, but it's worth a shot. I'm not throwing this shot away. (Yes, I had to go there.)

It's a work night, and I'm so tired that I can barely see straight, but I'm also not actually sleepy. Tired, but not sleepy. Seems to be the story of my life, huh?

Second Monday

Wednesday, 30 January 2019 11:49 pm
apollymi: Stitch with a cape and a swimsuit top on his head, text reads "I'm the goddamn Batman" (L&S**Stitch: I am the goddamn Batman)
OMG, today was like a Monday all over again! I spent most of the day thrown completely off as to just what day it was and what I was supposed to say to people as they were leaving and so forth. I just kept laughing it off to people and explaining that it feels like Monday all over again for me. Most people just laughed as well and agreed. The ones who didn't laugh just made a comment about the snow day that wasn't.

Writing went pretty okay tonight. I would have been happier to get more done, but it's more than I was expecting, so I'll definitely take it.

And now... sleep.

Sad face

Tuesday, 29 January 2019 09:28 pm
apollymi: Stitch lying on the beach with a lei, text reads "I like fluffy" (L&S**Stitch: I like fluffy)
Well, I was seriously hoping for two days off, but apparently we only get one "abundance of caution" day a month. :( I really wanted tomorrow off too, but I do have to go back to work after all, despite the weather stations calling for black ice on the roads.

All that said, I did enjoy the hell out of having a day off during the week. I'm not sure yet if it makes the week more tolerable, but I'll probably have an answer to that tomorrow.

From here until the end of February, I have some short weeks coming up. I have next Monday the 4th off for a middle of the day doctor's appointment with a gastroenterologist. I have the next Monday the 11th off for [personal profile] katsuko's birthday. And I have the next Friday the 22nd off for my birthday. I suspect that I'll end up having an endoscopy somewhere in there too. (I hope that's going to end up being sooner rather than later.)

And I'm now going to try to go to sleep to the dulcet sounds of sirens

Guess what

Monday, 28 January 2019 09:23 pm
apollymi: Sleepy orange kitten, text reads "Not awake not not not not not" (Kitten: Not awake)
Finally, some damn happy news: due to a prediction of a "wintry mix", GSU is going to be closed tomorrow. Cue the happy dance and singing and pretty much every other expression of joy you can think of. I even ended up singing at work. Granted, I ended up singing "Today 4 You" over and over again because it's been stuck in my head, but still...

So I get to sleep in a bit tomorrow, and it will be glorious. Even better, [personal profile] katsuko and I finally have an entire day off together. And what are we doing? Sleeping in. Probably watching YouTube. Hopefully writing. Cuddling kitties. Maybe tracking down our copies of Leverage.

And possibly going out on the back porch to do a rain dance, in the hopes we'll have too much ice tomorrow night for work on Wednesday as well. Hey, a girl can hope, right? Hope and dream and really not want to go back to work again.

And I guess I'll give this sleep thing a try again. We'll see if anything comes of it.

Something here

Sunday, 27 January 2019 11:23 pm
apollymi: Split icon, 1st close-up of Ripley's smug face, 2nd close-up of Hicks' grinning face, text reads "Where do you want it" (Aliens**Hicks/Ripley: Where do you want)
I am watching the weather like a hawk. (No Atlanta Hawks puns intended here. I tend to forget that team exists anyway.) It's calling for a wintry mix, which classically means that GSU will close with "an abundance of caution" or some other way of saying this is the South and we don't know what to do with snow, ice, or sleet.

So continuing the stomach weirdness, [personal profile] katsuko and I took Anastasia out for dinner last night to a Mexican restaurant we go to frequently. I carefully avoided anything with tomatoes or peppers in it, just to be on the safe side, and I even ate extra slow so that nothing would get stuck. In fact, I just got nachos, splitting an appetizer of them with [personal profile] katsuko and Anastasia, and then getting a plate of them for my dinner. Both the appetizer and the plate had cheese and refried beans, and the plate added on guacamole. It should have been safe, because these are all ingredients I've had at this same restaurant before. And yet, I spent most of the night dealing with the... explosive evacuation of the contents of my bowels, which usually means that something I ate a few hours before then was a very, very bad idea.

I don't know here. It's a single location place, though I would hesitate to call it a "small" restaurant. I can't vouch for the authenticity of their recipes. I know I always order from the "Vegetarian" section of the menu... But I also know that authentic refried beans are made with lard. I usually don't eat their rice, because I know a lot of authentic Mexican rice may be cooked with chicken broth.

I feel like the food I can eat is slowly being whittled away. Pretty soon, I'm going to be down to cheese balls, oyster crackers, and pudding, with the occasional side of potatoes and tofu.

And the damnedable thing is, I'm hungry. I'm so damn hungry. I feel so sick so much of the time. I have food evacuating my body at top speed, and yet I'm hungry.

Finally

Friday, 25 January 2019 10:21 pm
apollymi: Grover sitting on a cow, text reads "I'm on a cow" (SS**Grover: I'm on a cow)
Well, I made it through Friday. There was some concern about that at a few points during the week, but I've made it somehow.

I did the interview for Alpharetta today. I'm not exactly holding my breath. There were a lot of mixed signals. One person on the phone interview was very encouraging, but Chris very much kept it at the "if" level.

I also applied for a job at Emory, in the Special Collections library, as an Operational Manager. Yes, I am trying to get to working closer to home (and my doctors), but I'll take a library job over any of that, especial a Special Collections job.

And now I guess I need to give up and try to sleep. I've been working on this one entry since 10:00, and it's now nearly 4:00. I might be slightly worthless for thinking right now.

Surviving

Thursday, 24 January 2019 10:48 pm
apollymi: Vachon leaning close over Nick's shoulder, no text (FK**Nick/Vachon: Heartbreakers)
I'm making it day by day. Well, today I was making it minute by minute. I'm just so exhausted, both mentally and physically, and nothing with work is helping.

I might as well write off the phone interview tomorrow. I don't see it coming around to much of anything at this point. Even with getting my side of everything in with LaTrease, who promised to pass it along to Chris, I don't foresee it making a damn bit of difference. A job at the Alpharetta campus would make my life so much easier... so of course it's never going to happen.

I didn't even manage to write anything, because fuck having any kind of attention span at all today. So, needless to say, my word count fucking sucks today.

I'm just going to go to bed, hope tomorrow doesn't suck out loud, and then come home for the weekend and quietly die.

So close to done

Wednesday, 23 January 2019 11:57 pm
apollymi: Hatter with a cuppa, text reads "Tea?" (Alice**Hatter: Tea?)
I feel like I'm so close done with this damn place. I feel like if I get in trouble for one more thing that Glynda gets away with, then I'm going to scream. Hell, I spent most of the drive home today thinking about how easy it would be to just run my car into a concrete pillar. If I had a gun in my house, that would have been the end of it. I even gave some thought to the bottles of pain killers I have left mixed with my Flexeril; if it's good enough for my father to try, it's good enough for me to try. At least my uncle had a rope and a garage handy; I don't have either of those options.

If I'm getting in trouble for spending five minutes trying to coordinate a ride to a doctor's appointment via my smartwatch, then I want Glynda getting in trouble for spending hours shopping on Amazon and JCPenney and QVC and whatever else site she's in love with this week. If I'm getting in trouble for that, I want her in trouble for all the days I end up taking care of patrons entirely while she sits playing around on the computer and not even looking up unless I say her damn name.

And of course this comes two days before my phone interview... with the same director who just got news of this. Of course it does. Why not.

Seriously, fuck my life.

Collapse

Tuesday, 22 January 2019 09:08 pm
apollymi: Grumpy kitten, text translates to "the Kitten of Death has you in sight" (Kitten: Kätzchen des Todes)
Seriously, I could drop flat on my face and never move again. I'm tired. I hurt. I'm emotionally exhausted. I got paid on Friday, and I'm already broke, because damn it, bills are just about all we can afford to pay.

On the upshot, I do have a phone interview on Friday. Amusingly, I know two out of the three people I'll be phone interviewing with. Hell, two of them are in the same department as me, and one is the head of GSU Testing. The only one I don't know is the head of testing at GSU Alpharetta. I've been trying not to get my hopes up, but I applied for a job with GSU Testing Alpharetta. It would save me a huge amount of time, gas money, and wear and tear on the car if I'm driving 15 minutes to work instead of an hour and a half, you know?

I'm so sick and damn tired of people belittling the amount of pain I feel. I have Glynda, who complains every day about how sick she feels or how exhausted she feels or how her "bad shoulder" hurts. If my back or one of my legs decides to give out every so often, though, it's always "You're too young for that kind of pain" or "Well, you have an old mattress, so that's why you hurt". Bitch, no. The point is that no one knows why I hurt all the time. The point is that there are days I legitimately am only able to come to work because it's next to impossible to get time off. Like, I have 28 hours of vacation time, but over 80 of sick time.

And that's another rant that makes me miss Florida: we have to take the time the university is closed as off. There is no way to work during that time. However, we have two choices: we can either not be paid for that time or we can use our own vacation time for it. And I'm over here screaming, "What the fucking fuck?! Florida is supposed to be the broke state so far as how it pays its state workers, but it at least knows that, if you require a person to not be at work, don't make them pay for it! And yet, everyone here goes on like it's a great thing, because apparently, there used to be no choice: you just weren't paid for the time the universities were closed unless it was an actual holiday.

And then there's the whole thing where I regularly end up working a few more minutes over 40 hours on a regular basis nearly every week. If this time doesn't "mysteriously" get erased from the system, I don't get overtime for it. I don't even get comp time for it. If I don't somehow "lose" this time, I end up getting regular pay for it. And it doesn't stretch too far in Atlanta, even the suburbs.

Honestly, it's to the point where I'm thinking about taking another part-time job. I'm not sure where I would find the time -- or, more importantly, the energy -- for it, but there needs to be more steady money coming into this household. We can't count on [personal profile] katsuko's money being the same week to week, and all my insurance bills went up at the beginning of the year. I did get a 1% pay hike, but it was not enough to offset the insurance increase.

And that's my daily whinge. Goodnight.

Noooooo

Monday, 21 January 2019 11:08 pm
apollymi: Chapter 301 of manga, redeeming power of love, text reads "Even Kyo and Yuya get shojo sparkles" (SDK**Kyo/Yuya: Shojo sparkles?)
Nooooo, I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I quite enjoyed my long weekend, even if it felt incredibly short at times. I know a lot of that was thanks to my sleep issues, but what can you do when they strike, unfortunately.

I did manage to get that handwritten bit typed up finally. It only took me three or four days. Whoops. But it's done now. I'm not going to feel guilty about how long it took me to do.

I finally got that diffuser purchased and going for Luci. I'm hopeful it will help with whatever is causing her over-grooming issues. To further move things along, I have also purchased flea medication for her and Boo. Strike on all fronts, is what I'm saying.

And now, bed, because unfortunately, it has yet to snow, so I seriously doubt we'll get to sag out of work tomorrow.

Finally!!!

Friday, 18 January 2019 11:14 pm
apollymi: Newt, Hicks, & Ripley checking blueprints, text reads "Family" (Aliens**Hicks/Ripley+Newt: Family 2)
Gods, it felt like it took thirty-three years for today to get here. And yeah, I know a lot of that is all down to knowing that this long weekend was coming up and being super ready for it, but still...! I'm sick and tired of being at work, for all that I've barely been back two weeks. I burned my fingers unplugging Glynda's shitty heater yesterday, and all she had to say today was "Well, I unplugged it when I left, so blame someone else".

It's almost upgrade time again on my phone, and I'm trying to decide if I'm going to stay on an iPhone (and go up to an XS) or if I'm going to give Android another try. Honestly, mostly what I'm looking at is battery life and UI. It's been nearly 10 years since my last Android phone, and while I do have an Android tablet, I don't find the UI on it to be very intuitive. (I also know I don't use it a lot and therefore don't have a lot of practice with it.) But there's also the fact that Android phones are reputed to have much, much better battery life than any of the recent iPhones. (Though to be fair, my iPhone 6S+ had a much better battery life than my 8+, by leaps and bounds.)

I've been debating on all of this for a couple of months now. Given that I use a MacBook Pro as my main computer (actually named Gabriel, but affectionately called "the boy"), sticking with iPhones might be the better way to go, I'm guessing that's going to be the better way to go, yeah?

Wednesday

Wednesday, 16 January 2019 11:36 pm
apollymi: Blank background, text reads "Sometimes you just have to say Screw Canon" (Text: Sometimes screw canon)
I am so incredibly done with this week. And the worst thing is, it's only halfway to done! I'm about ready to throw in the towel... and I promise it's not just because I have a long weekend coming up. I just really, really am sick of Glynda's attitude, Richard's complaining, Chris' hovering, and testers' not listening to instructions. Yesterday, we had to send the same two people back to put away unacceptable materials (notes, watches, jewelry, etc) three times each.

At that point, I'm starting to wonder if you're trolling me.

Brrr

Monday, 14 January 2019 11:42 pm
apollymi: Steve and Tony looking off to the left of the icon, no text (keywords reference the obvious slash of comic!verse) (Aveng**Steve/Tony: KirkSpock of Marvel)
The weather here seriously cannot make up its mind. Last week, it was in the 50s and 60s. Now it's down in the 30s and 40s. This is why everybody is always so sick around here... which is in turn supposedly why Glynda and Richard are so very crabby lately. Which, personally speaking, I don't really buy it. They're both bitchy enough on their own without needing to add sickness onto it.

I have handwritten stuff on both the canon era femme Faraday part of Shelter as well as the modern Trinity AU... but I haven't gotten either of them typed up. I'll be disappointed in myself another day, but not today.

Seriously, this is so annoying: I need to catch one more Eevee on Pokemon Go (or get 4 more special candy somewhere), so that I can evolve one of them into an Umbreon for a task in game... and I cannot find one. If I can find 2 more steel-type Pokemon to finish this other quest, I'll be able to get enough special candy to evolve and finish this task.