Saturday, 1 April 2017

done

Saturday, 1 April 2017 10:47 pm
apollymi: Black background, text reads "Rare pairings: oh hell, why the fuck not?" (Text: Rare pairings - why not?)
I'm having a bad day emotionally speaking. It's... yeah... Okay, it's bad.

Like I've put some serious thinking into pulling Wicked Ones completely offline. Like I haven't told [personal profile] katsuko no, when she's threatened to hold stories hostage and just told her that the story she was originally suggesting holding hostage wouldn't make as much of an impact as After Midnight.

Because clearly, that's the only one of the Mag7 stories that matter.

I'm just a bit... It's been a bad day. It's been a lot of bad days all in a row.

Yes, I write WO for me. It helps me work through the shit that's built up in my head. It's some of the hardest, most emotionally draining shit I've ever written. Yes, it's not the most popular story I've ever written; that dubious honor belongs solely to After Midnight.

So I don't know. I'm having one bad day after another one. I'm alternating between feeling like I'm DB the Second for our little chat group or completely incidental. Like, if I weren't seeing my things pop up on [personal profile] katsuko's computer, I'd think they weren't going through. I feel like I'm either completely overwhelming everyone or I'm not there at all. I don't know: my brain insists that I'm either a fucking overwhelming burden or completely immaterial to everything going on around me. There is no happy medium.

And that's me. I'm in a bad mental place right now, and I'm too tired to even try to dig myself back out of it.